Remember, if you don’t think the jokes on today’s program are hilarious, it may be because, during birth, your obstetrician inadvertently damaged your sense of humor. You could get millions in a malpractice suit.
TODAY IS WEDNESDAY - AUGUST 22, 2007 WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS! ONLY 123 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!
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Today is BE AN ANGEL DAY. The Angel Heights Healing Center of Upperco, Maryland, encourages you to do something nice for someone today. ***JUSTIN: Do you know what I think would be nice? If people would only send me emails that are properly punctuated and correctly spelled.
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Today is NATIONAL PUNCTUATION DAY. ***JUSTIN: And this is a real pet-peeve of mine. I get emails all of the time with people that refuse to use punctuation or even capitalization in any way shape or form. A three page long email could have no period or exclamation points at all. It’s just one big run-on sentence from start to finish. It’s annoying - and for those of us who actually paid attention in English class and decided to put that knowledge to use in the real world, it’s painful to read. Please… capitalize the letter “I” if you’re talking about yourself. If it’s the end of sentence, please use a period or other punctuation mark to let us know that it’s the end of the sentence. And be sure to begin the next sentence by capitalizing the first letter. Please, for the sake of sanity. Now, for sake of demonstration, let me repeat everything I’ve said in the form of how these emails occasionally come to me. Please feel free to scream at anytime during the next run-on sentence. (and this is a real pet-peeve of mine i get emails all of the time with people that refuse to use punctuation or even capitalization in any way shape or form a three page long email could have no period or exclamation points at all its just one big runon sentence from start to finish its annoying and for those of us who actually paid attention in english class and decided to put that knowledge to use in the real world its painful to read please capitalize the letter i if you’re talking about yourself if its the end of sentence please use a period or other punctuation mark to let us know that its the end of the sentence and be sure to begin the next sentence by capitalizing the first letter please for the sake of sanity now for sake of demonstration let me repeat everything ive said in the form of how these emails occasionally come to me please feel free to scream at anytime during the next run-on sentence)
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1956: Elvis Presley became an actor as work began on the film The Reno Brothers. The movie was released in theatres as Love Me Tender, starring Elvis, Richard Egan, and Debra Paget. ***JUSTIN: Elvis died at the end of the movie - as should have his acting career.
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Today is POCKET-PHONE DAY. British Telecom introduced the first pocket-phones on this date in 1989. ***JUSTIN: Good name for them too. The more you used them, the more they emptied your pockets!
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1997: Rossana Giusti won the job of grave digger at a cemetery in Prato, Italy, after the ten men competing against her all fainted and failed the test. The test was exhuming a body. ***JUSTIN: It just amazes me that there would be eleven people even competing for that job!
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Today is NATIONAL TOOTH FAIRY DAY. ***JUSTIN: I caught my mom late one night when I was young. I’d lost my tooth the night before, and I woke up that night and saw my mom with her hand under my pillow. I was ticked. “MOM! The tooth fairy left that money for me!”
CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS
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Actress (Libby Chessler on “Sabrina, The Teenage Witch”) Jenna Leigh Green 33
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Actress (”Laverne & Shirley”, American Graffiti) Cindy Williams, 60
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Actress (”Mary Tyler Moore Show”, “Rhoda”) Valerie Harper, 67
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retired general Norman Schwarzkopf 73
RADIO PAPARAZZI
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Steven Seagal wants an apology from federal investigators, who he says wrongly implicated him in a plot to scare a journalist who was working on a story about the actor’s possible ties to organized crime.
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London’s Daily Telegraph reports that Jessica Biel thinks she is fat. ***JUSTIN: Does everyone in Hollywood need a shrink?
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11 extras were injured on the set of Tom Cruise’s latest movie over in Germany. All minor injuries.
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Vermont Senator Patrick Leahy has landed a guest role in the next Batman movie.
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Reese Witherspoon and her ex, Ryan Phillipe, are said to be taking a second swing at it. It would be nice to see a Hollywood couple reconcile their marriage.
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Smyrna, Tennessee, is having lots of luck getting drivers to slow down and observe the speed limit using life-size cutouts of a cop holding a radar gun.
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Simon Cowell says he’s good through “American Idol 9″ and then he’s done.
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Janeane Garofalo is going to join the cast of “24″ next season. Cameras start rolling on season 7 September 10th.
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Turns out that the story about J.K. Rowling now working on a mystery novel — all a rumor. She’s still enjoying a well-deserved break.
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Lindsay Lohan is still in that Utah rehab center. No word on when she might emerge. Meanwhile, Cosmopolitan reports that 20% of Americans have never heard of Lindsay Lohan.
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A Newsweek reporter asked for an interview with comedian/actor Jerry Lewis. Lewis said, “Sure… for $20,000.” ***JUSTIN: No word on whether it will go to Jerry’s Kids.
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Barnes & Noble will not stock the new edition of O.J. Simpson’s “If I Did It.” It will only be available by special order or on its web site.
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Alice Cooper is throwing his energy into building a Christian teen center in Phoenix for at-risk youths from the area, hoping to break ground by November.
NEWS KICKERS
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At California’s Mount Diablo State Park, a 17-year-old boy survived but was seriously injured when he fell about 75 feet over a cliff onto a rock bed below. This all happened because he had climbed over a handrail in order to fake a fall so that his buddies could capture the fake plunge on video to put on his MySpace Web page. ***JUSTIN: Of course, the most important question is, “Did they get it on video?”
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A woman in Thousand Oaks, California, went on vacation and came back to find a 50-foot tree in her yard missing. ***JUSTIN: You gotta be careful where you spray that RoundUp!
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Vampire novelist Anne Rice has said on her web site that she’s pro-life, but also, pro-Hillary. ***JUSTIN: So a pro-life vampire author is voting for a pro-death, blood-sucking liberal.
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The “High School Musical 2″’s debut on the Disney Channel drew an estimated audience of 17.2 million, which would make it the most-watched basic cable program ever, according to Nielsen Media Research. ***JUSTIN: Of course it had to be on the Disney Channel, where else could high school be so much fun that you’d want to sing and dance?
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A store in Scottsdale, Arizona is offering a camera angled in such a way that women can see what their backsides look like in those jeans. ***JUSTIN: So please, in the name of all that is good, STOP asking your husbands!
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In the Netherlands, a 13-year-old boy was fishing when he got the surprise catch of the day — a Dutch scuba diver! It seems the boy’s hook got caught in the scuba diver’s lip. Wim van Huffelen said, “I heard a sound on my head and immediately I felt a jerk on my lip. Local newspapers ran a delightful picture of the diver with the hook embedded in his lower lip. A doctor managed to later free him from the hook. ***JUSTIN: Sadly, it was a catch-and-release lake, so they had to throw the diver back.
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Six high school seniors in Fort Kent, Maine, were charged with criminal trespass and criminal mischief after they let 45 chicks and 10 baby geese loose in their school, making a huge mess that forced the school to close for two days to clean up. ***JUSTIN: The smell was so bad, the cleanup crew cleared their heads by sticking them in gym lockers.
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The journal Neuron reports that a study by Oxford Prof. Edmund Rolls proved that words can influence the way something tastes or smells. The findings confirm that diners perceive a restaurant as being better when the menu and waiter provide flowery descriptions of the wines and dishes. For instance, test subjects rated a scent as more pleasant when they were told it was called “cheddar cheese” than when it was called “body odor.” ***JUSTIN: Up until now my favorite snack was cheddar cheese.
AND NOW ANOTHER USELESS FACT
In many parts of the nation, kids head back to school this week. ***JUSTIN: There’s nothing more challenging and rewarding than teaching a student to read for the first time. The 12th grade is a gratifying experience.
THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY
As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him. Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy’s ear. Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother’s hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause. As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve. “Excuse me, General,” she asks quietly, “but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?”
The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, “I showed him my pilot’s wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose.”
THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER
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A man gets shot with a shotgun for playing his radio too loud!
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FILE #1: An 80-year-old Toledo woman has been booked for unloading a shotgun on a man playing his radio too loud. Lillie Clouse is sitting in a Toledo jail cell for shooting at the man after he refused to lower the volume on his car stereo outside her home. Errant pellets from the 12-gauge round hit two children, but since the shotgun was purchased in 1959, as were the shells, they didn’t have the power to penetrate the children’s clothes. The intended victim was not hit. Lillie has been booked on charges of felonious assault and is being held without bail.
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FILE #2: A 2002 ruling by the Oregon Supreme Court had a major impact on police for some time. You see, the court had ruled that all lawyers, including prosecutors, must obey the state bar association’s nearly absolute prohibitions against deceit. What this meant was, law enforcement could not engage in “undercover” and “sting” operations (which involved tricking suspects). So child pornographers were getting away with their crimes because prosecutors and police couldn’t pretend to be underage online to get the pedophiles. Fortunately, things have changed.
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FILE #3: Rafael Morgan was test driving a Porsche when he was pulled over by the cops and ticketed for doing 60 in a 35 zone. When he returned to the dealership, he quickly sped away as soon as the salesperson got out of the car. It wasn’t that difficult for the cops to track the guy down, after all he had just given the officer his address when he was ticketed. The cops just drove to his home and found the Porsche outside and Rafael inside. It was when the cops arrested him that Rafael gave the REALLY dumb criminal excuse… he told them he didn’t steal the car, he just drove it home to see if it would fit into his garage. ***JUSTIN: To which they responded, “Hey, we’re not arresting you… we just want to see if your wrists can fit into these handcuffs.”
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STRANGE LAW: In Minneapolis, Minnesota, double-parkers can be put on a chain gang.
JUSTIN’S MOMENT OF DUH
Having experience in a certain job field doesn’t mean you should be working in that job field.
Today’s Moment of Duh begins with someone applying for a job. Sherman P. Hawkins had a very impressive application for the vacant position of director of the Montana Department of Corrections. But Sherman was turned down for the position by the governor - despite his having 28 years of experience in the department and a master’s degree in administration! As the governor noted, however, Hawkins’ 28 years in the department of corrections were as an “inmate,” in that he is serving a life sentence for murdering his wife.
ADVICE YOU’LL NEVER HEAR WHEN USING THE ONSTAR BUTTON IN YOUR VEHICLE
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Just walk away from your car and abandon it, it’s a junker anyway.
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What made you think it would be quicker to cut through the park?
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Get outa there fast! The cops are comin’!
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You’re not going to take Market, are you?
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I think that was already red.
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Can you locate a coat hanger? Look around the parking lot.
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If you didn’t break the law, then whata YOU care?!
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I think the speed limit is 30 through here.
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Get ahold of yerself!!!!
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Only idiots lock their keys in the car.
OTHER STUFF
WEBSITE: Cool bandwidth tester = http://www.speedtest.net/
IT MUST BE TRUE, BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!
Ever wonder if the person on the other end of the phone is truly listening to what you’re saying? A new invention will solve that problem for you!
If you’ve ever wondered if that person you’re talking to on the phone is really paying attention, you may soon be able to find out thanks to the “Jerk-O-Meter.” Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology are developing software for cell phones that would analyze speech patterns and voice tones to rate people - on a scale of 0 to 100 percent according to how engaged they are in a conversation. They say that the Jerk-O-Meter could assist telephone sales and marketing efforts and could help prevent arguments in relationships by forcing couples to be more attentive to one another. While they’re still working out the bugs, they say the Jerk-O-Meter could be ready to go in about six months. ***JUSTIN: Coinciding with the unexplained phenomenon of people canceling their cell-phone contracts.
MAYBE SHE SHOULD’VE BOUGHT A CHEVY
Carol Probst is good with a camera, which is a good thing as her insurance company would likely never have believed her claim that a goat totaled her truck. The Midway, Utah woman grabbed her camera and began snapping photos when she discovered that a goat had made its way into her garage and on top of her Dodge truck. The goat began walking in circles, stomping on the roof, and using its horns against the windshield and the truck’s paint job. Animal control finally showed up to put the goat out of commission with a tranquilizer dart and release it back into the mountains. ***JUSTIN: It was one ram defending it’s territory against another.
WANT TO BE THE COOLEST COP IN THE WORLD?
Then move to Austria. Police there are testing a new Porsche 911 as patrol cars to crack down on speeding motorists. The $120,000 sports car can do up to 177mph, and so far has been a major success - so much so that Austria is planning to buy more. A police spokesperson said, “The preventive effect is excellent. Drivers just needed to see it parked alongside the road and they slam on the breaks.” ***JUSTIN: The downside is the lack of passenger space - and if you’re placed under arrest, you have to stay in the trunk.
8 COMMON TICKET MYTHS
Here are the most common misconceptions surrounding tickets and how to beat them from Bankrate.com:
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If the officer makes a single mistake on your ticket, the case is dropped — Clerical mistakes, such as a wrong number or wrong order of a person’s name, are usually overlooked. Material mistakes, like the identity of the driver, the direction of travel, the street or the description of the vehicle, can usually help a driver win the case.
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If the officer doesn’t show up in court, you automatically win — Some judges will drop a case if the officer does not appear in court because defendants have the constitutional right to question their accusers. However, in most cases an officer not showing up will result in a dismissal.
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Red cars get more tickets — There are no official studies to confirm that red cars do get more tickets, but some suggest the bold color tends to attract more attention from everyone — including police officers.
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You need a lawyer to beat a ticket — With a little time and homework, many people successfully fight their own traffic tickets At the very least, first-time offenders for minor offenses can usually strike a plea bargain.
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If you get a ticket in another state, your home state won’t find out about it — Reports on traffic violations and suspensions are usually forwarded to the home state of the nonresident.
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You can make up an excuse to get out of the ticket — Most police officers aren’t interested in excuses. When an officer pulls you over, he already suspects you of an infraction.
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A radar detector will ensure that you never get pulled over — Speeding drivers are also more likely to commit other infractions, and a radar detector can’t tell you when a cop is watching you run that red light or make an illegal turn.
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If you don’t sign the ticket, it will be dismissed — Signing a ticket is not an admission of guilt, but merely an acknowledgement you received the ticket and a promise to appear in court.
LAZINESS EXTENDS YOUR LIFESPAN
Forget all that “nose to the grindstone” trash that’s been stuffed down your throat ever since you were a kid. A couch-potato lifestyle, free of stress, is definitely the way to go, say medical researchers Peter Axt and Michaela Axt Gadermann. In their book, “The Joy of Laziness: Why Life Is Better Slower, and How to Get There,” the authors prove that goofing off more and exercising less will make you smarter, younger looking, less cranky and more loveable. The German doctors developed a 5-step plan to lazy up and lengthen your life span.
Forget long-distance running — marathon athletes often die at an early age from heart attacks. Switch to a brisk but easy stroll several times a week to boost circulation.
If you live in a northern climate, think about moving south. Warm weather and sunshine dispel depression and alleviate stress.
Sleep in whenever possible. Long hours in bed pump up your immune system so your body can fight viruses and disease.
Combat the aging process by slowing down your metabolism with an occasional daily fast. Even digesting food can take a lot out of you.
Relax your brain by hanging out for a day doing absolutely nothing more strenuous than channel surfing. Do it as often as you can.
THE LEAST EXPECTED PRODUCTS USING NANO-TECHNOLOGY
It probably wouldn’t surprise owners of ultrathin cell phones or tiny iPod Nanos to discover that these miniature electronic miracles take advantage of the latest advances in nanotechnology, the science of rearranging atoms to create new materials and products. But would you expect to find tiny technology at work in the paint on your walls? In your perfumed night cream? In the seat of your pants? Though you can’t see it, nanotechnology is everywhere now, expanding the utility and appeal of basic products from cosmetics to all types of clothing.
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Golf balls and tennis rackets: Manufacturers are always looking for the best new design to improve your score, but this sports equipment is truly high tech. Wilson previously made its nCode tennis rackets of standard carbon, but now uses nanotechnology to pack extra atoms between the carbon atoms to make the rackets stronger, but just as light. A nano-coating on NDliNX golf balls is meant to make them soar faster and feel firmer when hit, thanks to a higher-density polymer layer on the outside of the ball.
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Stain-resistant khaki pants and ties: Ever wonder how those so-called stain resistant pants stay so clean? Dockers, Lands End and Brooks Brothers carry khaki pants and neckties whose fabrics have been redesigned to pack extra atoms between the fabric atoms to help repel liquids on the surface.
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Shoe inserts and socks: Suffer from cold feet? Originally designed for NASA, Polarwrap has created its Toasty Feet inserts with built-in nano-size pockets of air to improve insulation and make them lightweight. Millions of nano-size silver particles are knitted into Sharper Image’s Antibacterial Silver Athletic and Lounging Socks to make them antibacterial and antifungal.
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Food storage containers: These plastic containers are not your mother’s Tupperware. The polypropylene of Fresherlonger Miracle Storage containers is infused with nano-size silver particles that make it resistant to mold, fungus and bacteria.
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Men’s razors: The FX Diamond razor uses nanotechnology to create a coating on its blades to make them more durable. Adding nano-particles to the blade metal increases the density, and thus the hardness. The Panasonic Arc electronic razor uses nano-particles in its blades to increase their sharpness.
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Skin cream: Both L’Oreal and Lancome use nano-size “microlifters” in some of their face and eye wrinkle-reducing creams. These create a micro-size netting of molecules on the skin intended to smooth out wrinkles and reduce puffiness.
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Household paint: Behr (bare) kitchen and bathroom paint is designed with nano-particles that increase the density of the paint to prevent the growth of mold and mildew on the walls.
COLLECTIBLES
There was a time not so long ago that you thought you would retire on your Beanie Baby collection. While the Beanies have taken a nosedive, there are still some hot collectibles to make money on. Vintage baseball cards and psychedelic posters from San Francisco’s Fillmore Ballroom are money makers. Then there are some collectibles that never go out of style like Chippendale or Queen Anne furniture. Believe it or not, other hot items are old fashioned weather vanes and appliances from the 1970s, if they’re in avocado, autumn harvest, or rust colors. Of course, the biggest collectible market is for toys, especially from the 1950’s and 60’s. However, if you don’t have any of that stuff and want to start planning for your future, look for what the kids are playing with nowadays. Those Bratz dolls might be a good place to start. Buy them now, stash them away and wait 20 years. Of course, whatever you do, don’t open the boxes or you’ll lose most of the value.
EWWW
While you might not think a law like this would even be necessary, Las Vegas city officials have made it illegal to sleep within 500 feet of urine or feces. It was part of a bill making it a misdemeanor to go to the bathroom in public. However, the city attorney says the new law was passed by mistake and won’t be enforced. Sweet dreams! ***JUSTIN: Just be sure you flush the toilet if you get up in the middle of the night!
WHAT DID YOU LEARN AT SCHOOL TODAY?
Aaron Lawton, 11, said he thought his teacher was just kidding when he told him, “If you miss an assignment, the whole class gets to deck you.” But a month later, when the Franklin Township, N.J., sixth-grader was late on a homework assignment, math teacher Maxie Rivers allegedly lined up the students and had them take turns hitting him. “Some of the punches were hard, some were soft and some were in between,” the boy said. Rivers’ attorney said the beating was “light-hearted” and that the kids only “tapped him kiddingly,” but a doctor found multiple bruises. Hillcrest School officials suspended the teacher with pay while they investigate the incident. (AP) ***JUSTIN: I didn’t realize there truly was a School of Hard Knocks.
WHAT WE CALL OUR SWEETHEARTS
REAL BUMPER STICKERS
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Money talks - mine only says goodbye.
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I started off with nothing - and I still have most of it left.
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Driver carries only $20.00 in ammunition.
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If this is a free country, how come I have to pay for everything?
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Driver carries only $10.00. Wife and kids have the rest.
GOING TO THE DOGS
Like most men, David Allison picked his best friend to be the best man at his wedding. The difference is, David best man was “man’s best friend”. That’s right, he picked his pet dog. Allison’s dog Murphy, a boxer was dressed in a bow-tie and kilt for the ceremony. The dog obviously plays a big role in the life of Allison. The hairdresser also named his shop after his dog: “Murphy - Hair of the Dog”. No word on how his bride felt about the whole dog-thing. She reportedly is allergic.
JUST BECAUSE!
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Just because no one has been fortunate enough to realize what a gold mine you are, doesn’t mean you shine any less.
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Just because no one has been smart enough to figure out that you can’t be topped, doesn’t stop you from being the best.
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Just because no one has come along to share your life, doesn’t mean that day isn’t coming.
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Just because no one has made this race worth while, doesn’t give you permission to stop running.
” Just because no one has realized how much of a woman you are, doesn’t mean they can affect your femininity.
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Just because no one has come to take the loneliness away, doesn’t mean you have to settle for a lower quality.
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Just because no one has shown up who can love you on your level, doesn’t mean you have to sink to theirs.
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Just because you deserve the very best there is, doesn’t mean that life is always fair.
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Just because God is still preparing your king, doesn’t mean that you’re not already a queen.
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Just because your situation doesn’t seem to be progressing right now, doesn’t mean you need to change a thing.
SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE…
QUESTION: What is the body’s largest organ? The heart? The kidney? The liver?
ANSWER: Organs are any grouped tissues that form a functional unit. The large intestine sounds like a good choice, until we remember that at 5 feet it’s actually shorter than the 20-foot small intestine. The answer is something that few people realize is an organ: the skin. If the skin of a 150-pound person were spread out flat, it would cover approximately 20 square feet. So stop worrying about those extra pounds at your waistline - what’s a few inches out of 20 square feet?
IN-LAW AWARD
While most people say how much they hate their in laws and can’t stand to be around them, Italy has decided to have a mother-in-law contest to reward the good ones!
Sure, it’s great to make jokes about the in-laws; I’m sure our in-laws find them funny as well because they have in-laws of their own. But actually CELEBRATE your mother-in-law? That’s just not natural, is it? But those Italians have gone and ruined it for the rest of us and have shown that not all mothers-in-law are worth the trouble that we give them. A 56-year-old Italian woman has been awarded the title of “Miss Mother in Law International”. Lucia Brugnone won the contest for her singing performance of “O sole mio”, which was described as “stunning”. Some 50 mothers in law showed off skills ranging from singing to sock-mending and cat-walking in the contest in Italy. (Because, a good mother-in-law does those kinds of things in Italy, I guess.) Mothers in law were judged by the lifeguards association of Rimini, which organized the contest. The second prize was won by Maria Cascinari, who is 87, for the “longest running activity in taking care of her sons’ family”. ***JUSTIN: So FIRST prize goes to someone that can sing beautifully, but SECOND prize goes to someone that sacrifices her time and resources to take care of her son’s family? It’s more important for a mother in law to sing than to be a mother?
OFF WITH HER HEAD!
What’s worse than someone stealing candy from a baby? Stealing money from dying children, that’s what.
A former director of the Tampa, Fla., Make-a-Wish Foundation has pleaded no-contest to grand theft charges for misappropriating (a.k.a. STEALING) almost $20,000 that had been donated for dying children. She served three months in jail, and is now on house arrest, and with an order to repay $6,500 of the $20,000. If that’s not ugly enough, in June, she filed a lawsuit against the Make-a-Wish Foundation demanding back pay and unused vacation and sick pay going back to the date of her firing in June 1999 and demanded a court order restoring her as the foundation’s executive director. (Can you believe the gall of this woman?) It gets even better. Her first name is Delores, and she uses the surname of her husband, the lawyer who filed her lawsuit, Jack W. Crooks. Yep, her name is Delores Crooks.
TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS
Would Jesus attend church services if he were on earth today? A lot of people say no. To me, that’s totally outrageous!
It’s sometimes interesting to think about what life would be like if Jesus were still here on earth. One research group wondered if Jesus would attend church services, and after surveying 931 people, about 61 percent of them believe that Jesus would not bother going to church if he were alive. And almost half of all the Christians surveyed (43 percent) believed that the church as an organization puts people off Christianity. (What church are THESE people going to? If they really feel that way, they need to find a new church!) Then again, you have to wonder if these people are truly born-again Christians, because 71 percent of these so-called Christians only go to church a couple of times a year or not at all. And yet, 48 percent of these people believed themselves to be spiritual. Sounds to me like maybe they need to spend more time in church learning more about Jesus whom they assume to know.
AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT
Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world. Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people. –George Bernard Shaw
WARNING: Don’t believe anything you read on the Internet, in email (including stuff you receive from Justin Kaiser) unless you can confirm it with another source, and/or it is consistent with what you already know to be true. The opinions in this publication are not necessarily those of Justin Kaiser or WGFA, regardless of how stupid you may think those opinions are. So there - nyah!
Justin Kaiser credits all non-original material to the author whenever possible. All other material is original, used with permission, or author unknown. We welcome all comments, questions, and suggestions.
